SOCIAL INFLUENCE-3

Rule number two - RECIPROCITY

A free gift might not be free after all.

Have you ever tried to send Christmas cards to total strangers? Pick some names out of the phone book and send them a Christmas card. You'd be surprised to discover that most of them will send you one back. This shows us that we have been brought up to believe that if you receive something, you have to repay that person with at least something of equal value.

SCARCITY CREATE VALUE.

The society we live in brought us up this way. No one likes a welcher, or someone not returning favors. We are already pre-conditioned to submit to this short-cut to compliance.

Without really realizing it, we give in to requests by people we might even not like, just because this person has given us a reason to return a favor. In many 'POWER' books authors advocate the management and use of favors. They tell you to keep a log of all the favors you have given to people, and use them to get what you want - usually larger requests. The need to reciprocate is indeed very strong.

Have you ever been at the supermarket and walked up to one of the booths offering free samples of food? Many people find it difficult to accept a sample and then just return the toothpick. It's easier to buy some of the product, you feel you owe the demonstrator that much. You feel guilty by taking advantage of the situation. As a result, they sell a lot more of the brand with little expense.

One interesting thing about this short-cut is the fact that we don't need to have asked for a favor. A person can trigger a compliance by giving us a free gift that we didn't even asked for! Or in some cases, not even desired! Strange. Why would we feel we have to return a favor when we didn't even want the original favor?

Back to society. There is an obligation to GIVE, and obligation to RECEIVE and an obligation to REPAY.

The practical use of the reciprocity rule is the REPAY issue, but as Dr. Cialdini points out it is the obligation to RECEIVE that makes this rule so easy to exploit. This puts the persuader at an advantage. People's inability to choose from whom they receive a gift puts the power in the hands of yourself. Think about it, how many times have we received un-invited gifts? How many times have those gifts induced some sort of compliance?

Another interesting factor here is the reverse - if you give a favor but refuse a return favor you are likely to be dis-liked for it. Give a gift, and be ready to accept a return commitment. Ask for it if you have to, but it'll be there.

GIVE AND TAKE

Consider this scenario:

A fellow worker at the office asks you to buy a $100.00 ticket to a fund-raiser on Saturday night. The last place you want to be on Saturday night is at a fund-raiser! You say no, and feel guilty. The person says" Well, that's too bad. How about supporting this cause by buying a raffle ticket? They are only $20 each."

He very cleverly induced reciprocity by giving up the $100 ticket, but 'accepting' a smaller, $20 gift. This is also a method you can use to help things along. You start by trying to convince the prospect to buy the top of the line. Then you reluctantly explain the lower model, the one you wanted to sell in the first place. The prospect feels obligated now, and finds it easy to comply with the smaller request.

This works great with the kids. If you merely want them to mow the lawn, ask them to weed, mow the lawn, wash dishes and do laundry. They concede to just the lawn. They'll be happy to do it. Sounds sneaky, but it works.

This goes well with another principle we'll cover later.

CONTRAST.

By accepting a smaller donation this way it seems smaller than the first request. If he had asked you for the $20 up front, you probably would have resisted. But now, because of both reciprocity and contrast it seems like a good deal.

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